Windy Words Without Wisdom: The Empty Rhetoric of Job's Comforters
Long-Winded Speeches That Missed the Mark. Prioritizing Being Right Over Being Helpful
How were Job’s friends such miserable comforters?
Then Job answered and said, 2 I have heard many such things: Miserable comforters are ye all. Job 16:2.
They came with big, long, windbag speeches that never seemed to end. Job 16:3.
Job had no idea why they needed to make the trip to accuse him and rub it in that his life was in a shambles. Job 16:3.
Job told them he could be an attacker and accuser against them if he so chose, but he would never treat them that way. Job 16:4.
Talking to his comforters had brought him no comfort. Job 16:6.
His friends, the comforters, scorned him and put Job down while lifting themselves. Job 16:20.
Job’s friends wanted to win an argument and be right more than help.
Job’s friends never considered that what happened to Job might happen to them.
They were friends only because they were “superior” and there to help the “inferior.”
They forgot all about the past, who Job had been, and what he had done
They caused Job to feel ripped apart by those closest to him.
Job’s suggestions about how to be a good comforter
Consider strengthening or encouraging your friend with your words Job 16:5
Think about how to ease the pain of your friend. Job 16:5.
It is better to be quiet if you do not have helpful, grace-filled words
Show some compassion rather boldly and harshly answering
Don’t talk badly about your friend to others, making them a byword or spitting in their face. Job 17:6.
Think before you talk
Show support instead of judgment.
Be there when they feel abandoned.
Don’t attack and accuse.
Be a friend, speak for him.
The Danger of Being a Miserable Comforter
If you want to be a friend, think before speaking and realize that your words and actions can comfort your hurting friend.
Words can wound or heal. They can also inflict more pain unless used with understanding and putting yourself in the hurting person’s place.
You have heard the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.“ The truth is pretty much the opposite.
Your compassion can connect you, while your lack of compassion destroys the connection. Are you a blessing or a lesson?
Do you really want to kick a man when he is down? Does that somehow make you feel better?
Quotes to Consider
"A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably." William Penn
"A friend is one soul abiding in two bodies." Aristotle
"We are not here to fix, change or belittle another person. We are here to support, forgive and heal one another." Unknown
"Support is not a verbal contest; it’s a silent commitment to stand by." Unknown
"A friend who speaks harshly in your time of need is more an adversary than an ally." Unknown
"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow." William Shakespeare
"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares." Henri Nouwen
"True friends walk in when the rest of the world walks out." Walter Winchell
"A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden." Anonymous
"Friendship is not about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your side." - Anonymous
The Word of God
A friend loveth at all times, And a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2.
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8.
Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; Neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: Proverbs 27:10.
