If You're Tired, You're Not Failing

Moving past what others say to rest in who God says you are.

Somewhere along the way, a lot of us learned a strange version of Christianity.

God loves you… if you stay “on track.”

God is pleased… if you keep improving.

God is close… if you’ve been good lately.

So we manage ourselves. We monitor ourselves. We apologize a lot. And we keep promising, “I’ll do better.”

It sounds spiritual.

But it feels like exhaustion.

The Question That Tells the Truth

Here’s something that might cut through the noise:

What if the tiredness you feel isn’t because you’re lazy… but because you’ve been trying to carry something you were never meant to carry?

That weight on your shoulders? It’s not the weight of following Jesus.

It’s the weight of trying to earn what He already gave you.

When you believe God’s love has to be earned, your soul never rests. Because there’s always one more thing.

One more habit to fix.
One more Bible plan to complete.
One more day to “prove” you really mean it this time.

And even when you’re doing well, you’re still scared. Because you know how quickly you can fall.

That fear is a sign.

Not that you’re hopeless: but that you’re still relating to God like an employee, not a son or daughter.

“Rest doesn’t come after you fix yourself. Rest comes first.”

Why Performance-Based Faith Breaks Us

I spent years in ministry before I understood this. I loved God deeply. I wanted to honor Him. But somewhere in my zeal, I picked up a lie: that my standing with Him depended on my performance.

I didn’t become legalistic because I hated grace. I became legalistic because I loved God and was afraid of losing Him.

Maybe you know that feeling.

The constant internal audit. The scorecard you keep in your head. The way a “bad week” makes you feel distant from God: not because He moved, but because you think He should have.

That’s not the gospel. That’s a treadmill.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon me, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Notice what Jesus says. He doesn’t say, “Come to me after you’ve cleaned yourself up.” He says come while you’re tired. Come because you’re heavy.

The invitation isn’t for the polished. It’s for the worn out.

Grace Flips Everything

Grace says: you don’t work for love. You work from love.

You don’t change so God will come close. You change because He already did.

That’s why some of the holiest people I’ve known weren’t the most impressive. They were the most rested.

They didn’t have perfect lives. They just stopped pretending God was holding a clipboard.

Romans 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

No condemnation. Not “less condemnation if you try harder.” Not “conditional acceptance pending improvement.”

None.

“God is not disappointed in you. He is not measuring your worth by your consistency.”

When that truth finally lands in your bones, something shifts. You stop white-knuckling your way through faith. You start breathing again.

The Difference Between Striving and Resting

Now, let me be clear. Resting in grace doesn’t mean doing nothing. It doesn’t mean we stop growing or obeying or serving.

It means we stop doing those things to earn God’s love.

There’s a world of difference between a child who cleans their room to avoid punishment and a child who cleans it because they know they’re loved and want to contribute to the family.

Same action. Totally different heart.

“The Christian life was never meant to be powered by fear, pressure, or performance. It was meant to be lived from being loved first.”

When you know you’re loved: really know it, not just intellectually agree with it: obedience becomes natural. Joy becomes possible. Rest becomes real.

1 John 4:19 “We love him, because he first loved us.”

That’s the order. His love comes first. Our response flows from that.

Not the other way around.

A Different Way to Live

If any of this hits a nerve, it might be because you’re ready for a different way to live.

Not with less obedience. But with less fear.

Not with less commitment. But with less striving.

Not with a smaller God. But with a bigger view of His grace.

I’ve walked this road. After 50+ years in ministry, after cancer, after seasons that nearly broke me, I can tell you: the only thing that held me wasn’t my performance.

It was His mercy.

“Mercy is not trailing behind you with conditions. It is running toward you with intention.”

That’s the God we serve. Not a distant critic. Not a disappointed boss. A Father who runs toward you.

What Real Rest Looks Like

Real rest isn’t passivity. It’s not sitting on the couch and calling it faith.

Real rest is trust. It’s waking up each day knowing you don’t have to prove anything to God because Jesus already proved everything for you.

It’s praying without fear. Failing without spiraling. Getting back up without shame.

It’s living like someone who is held.

“You are not behind. You are not being graded. You are being held.”

If you’ve been running on fumes, maybe what you need isn’t another productivity hack or spiritual discipline. Maybe what you need is permission to stop earning and start receiving.

Go Deeper

I wrote a fuller piece on this: the moment where performance-based religion breaks, and grace becomes real.

It’s called: “The Big Leap of Faith: Believing God Loves You Exactly As You Are.”

If today’s words stirred something in you, that article will take you further.

You don’t need to earn your way back to God.

You’re already being held.

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If you want to keep walking through these ideas with me, I’d love to have you join the journey. You can subscribe to my newsletter on Substack or listen to the Followed by Mercy podcast where I explore grace, rest, and what it really means to be loved by God.

And if you speak Spanish or know someone who does, my content is also available at Guillermo A. Gardner on Substack.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is feeling spiritually tired a sign that something is wrong with my faith?

Not at all. Spiritual exhaustion is often a sign that you’ve been carrying burdens God never asked you to carry: like trying to earn His love through performance. Tiredness isn’t failure; it’s your soul signaling that it needs the rest only grace can provide.

How do I stop trying to earn God’s love when it’s all I’ve ever known?

Start by sitting with the truth of Romans 8:1: there is no condemnation for those in Christ. Let that sink in daily. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you where fear has been driving you instead of love. It’s a process, not an overnight fix, but awareness is the first step toward freedom.

Can I rest in grace and still pursue holiness?

Absolutely. In fact, true holiness flows from rest, not striving. When you know you’re loved unconditionally, obedience becomes a joyful response rather than a desperate attempt to stay in God’s good graces. You change because He already came close( not so that He will.)