The Power of True Forgiveness: Releasing Resentment and Extending Grace

Understanding Forgiveness as Imitating Unconditional Love, Separating the Offense from the Offender

True forgiveness is not just about absolving someone when it's easy or when justice seems served. It's about releasing resentment and extending grace, even under the weight of injustice—imitating a love that forgives without conditions.

True forgiveness separates the offense from the offender.

As far as the East is from the West, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Psalms 103:12

This verse illuminates a profound truth about forgiveness: when God forgives your sins, He separates them from you entirely. Your sin no longer identifies you; it is no longer a part of who you are.

Jesus symbolically removed your sin as far as the East is from the West—a distance with no poles. No matter how far east you go, there's always more East. Consider the vastness: You may be in the Eastern United States, but to someone in Russia, you're still in the West. There's even Western Europe. The point is that your sins have been relocated to the ends of the Earth.

No matter how hard you may try, you can never retrieve your sins. They aren't just separated from you; they have been eradicated from your being. Despite your failures and mistakes, God ensures that your sins are permanently separated from you. Imagine experiencing such complete forgiveness within your home!

Would you believe that even my beloved wife has wronged me at times? And I, in return, have made countless mistakes towards her. True forgiveness demands that I look at Betty and see her separate from her sins. When I focus on her sins, I lose sight of her true essence. Conversely, when I see her for who she is, I cannot see her sins—they are distinct from her, always separate.

Have you ever been so consumed by anger towards someone that it becomes challenging to even look at them? That's because you're struggling to detach that person's actions from their person.

In His holiness, God doesn't tolerate sin, so He separates our sins from us to restore our fellowship through forgiveness. He reconciled us from our sins, not imputing or counting our trespasses against us. He has done the same thing for everyone, every where.  He reconciled the world to Himself. 

18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.  II Corinthians 5:18–19

Similarly, you must learn to separate the sin from the person to regain harmony and friendship in your home. Today, make a conscious decision to look at your spouse or children and affirm in your heart, "Yes, there has been wrongdoing, but I choose to forgive and not let the sin overshadow you. Separating the fault from your spouse is how we'll move forward together!"

 W. Austin Gardner, The Ultimate Guide to Building a Healthy and Fulfilling Marriage