The Performance Trap: Living in Fear of God's Rejection
Overcoming the Pressure to Earn God's Love and Acceptance
The Effect of Living in a Performance based relationship with God
They are living, terrified of God. Afraid He will hurt them or those close to them if they do not perform well.
They grapple with the belief that they must earn God’s love, favor, and acceptance through their actions. This struggle can lead to feelings of despair, hopelessness, and doubt, especially when they feel they’ve fallen short.
They feel empty and unfulfilled, even when outwardly successful. They constantly feel the pressure to prove themselves worthy to God and exhaust themselves spiritually by trying to earn God’s love.
Will God punish or reject me because I don’t live up to His standards? I will work harder and do more to feel acceptable to God.
Biblical Truth
God loves you unconditionally. He created you with a purpose. God's relationship with you is not based on your conduct but His character. God does not change, especially when you think of your behavior. He loves first. He loves because He is love, not because you earn or merit His love.
Salvation is by grace through faith alone. God loves you and wants a personal relationship with you. Believe me, God knows everything and can do it all. God forgives and chooses not to remember your sins, mistakes, or failings. He will never bring them up again.
Jesus came to seek, save, convert, and bring to Himself and His Father all those lost in their sin. Lost, we wandered away from God. Sin captured us. Jesus took your sins on Himself and paid all you owe. He offers you a "free gift" of salvation. There is no need to buy anything. No performance is required.
There is no love like God's love. You can't understand it because it is beyond our ability to understand. His love is unconditional and eternal. God heals all wounds and brokenness. God is the very definition of patient, kind, grace, love, mercy, gentleness, and many other words, just like them.
In God's love, you will find a secure place, a sense of belonging, a clear purpose, a unique identity, true freedom, complete redemption, and a profound transformation.
God's love is not dependent on our spiritual disciplines or anything else but His character. Our efforts cannot add to the finished work of Christ. Resting in God's grace, free from the burden of striving for perfection, is more important. Our failures do not diminish God's love for us.
A performance mindset can lead to comparing ourselves with others. A performance-based relationship with God can lead to burnout. We are complete in Christ, regardless of our accomplishments. Trying to earn God's love can lead to a work-based gospel. Focusing on performance can lead to spiritual pride or self-condemnation.
Motivating Quotes
"Performance-based Christianity places our value in what we do rather than in who we are in Christ." Charles Stanley
"The danger in performance-based Christianity is that we start trusting in our own righteousness instead of in God’s grace." Billy Graham
"Performance-based Christianity is exhausting; grace-based Christianity is liberating."
Chuck Swindoll
"Our relationship with God is not based on what we do for Him but on what He has done for us." A.W. Tozer
"Christianity is not about proving ourselves to God; it's about resting in His unconditional love." C.S. Lewis
Bible Verses to Consider
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8–9.
Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified. Galatians 2:16.
Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Romans 3:24.
And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then is it no more grace: otherwise work is no more work. Romans 11:6.
For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God. Romans 4:2.
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A friend posted this on Facebook :
It's easy to find books on marriage that dance around theological concepts but it's hard to find one that gets right to the point and encourages true self reflections from biblical truth and how that should actually touch our relationships and marriages. I recommend this one from a friend and mentor Austin Gardner
"Self-sacrificing love, as demonstrated by Christ, involves restoring our relationship with God first, enabling us to repair relationships with others. Embracing Christ's love transforms bitterness and hurt into opportunities for healing and growth. It's through this transformative love that broken relationships find restoration and reconciliation." - The Ultimate Guide To Building A Healthy And Fulfilling Marriage
"thank you Lord for loving me," thanks so much.