The Fish Wasn’t the Point
Jonah, the Father’s Heart, and One Last Treatment
Tomorrow morning, I will walk into a room I have come to know far too well lately. I will lay down for my very last radiation treatment. After that, the machines go silent. Then comes the wait. We won’t have the scans until August to see exactly how I am doing.
I have spent a lot of time in waiting rooms recently. There is a specific kind of quiet that hangs in those places. It is a space where you are forced to confront what you actually believe about God when the outcome is still hidden. In those moments, it is easy to feel like you are sitting in the belly of a great fish, surrounded by darkness and wondering if the shore is anywhere in sight.
However, as I have been writing through the Book of Jonah this week, I have been reminded of a beautiful truth. The fish was never the point of the story. The fish was just the transportation. The point was the heart of a Father who would not let His son go.
The Chasing Father and the Waiting Son
Most of us grew up hearing that Jonah was a story about a man who got swallowed because he was bad. We framed it as a cautionary tale of what happens when you don’t do what you’re told. Nevertheless, when you look at the text through the lens of Christ's finished work, you see something entirely different.
Jonah didn’t just fail; he ran. He boarded a ship headed the opposite way of his calling. Yet, the Father didn’t cancel Jonah’s assignment or find someone more “reliable.” Instead, He sent a storm and a fish to rescue Jonah from his own rebellion.
Jonah 1:17 “Now the LORD had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.”
That fish was not a prison; it was a lifeboat. It was mercy disguised as a monster. God loved Jonah too much to let him drown in the sea of his own choices. If you feel like you are in a dark place today, perhaps it isn’t a punishment. Perhaps it is a Father who has “prepared” a way to bring you back to His heart. You can read more about this perspective in my latest article, Running From Love: What Jonah Teaches Us About Our Father’s Heart.
What Is God Really Like?
Why do we run in the first place? Usually, we run because we believe a lie about who God is. We think He is a demanding judge, a stingy master, or a disappointed parent waiting for us to “fix” ourselves. This is exactly what the serpent wanted Adam and Eve to believe in the garden. He wanted them to think God was holding something back.
I recently wrote about this in What Does God Really Feel When He Thinks About You?. We have to settle the question of God’s character before we can ever find rest. If you believe God is disappointed in you, you will perform. If you believe He delights in you, you will rest.
Micah 7:18 “Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.”
God doesn’t just “show” mercy; He delights in it. He is not gritting His teeth while He forgives you. He is rejoicing because He finally has His child home. This is The Big Leap of Faith: believing that God loves you exactly as you are, not as you should be.
Love Before Performance
For over 50 years, I lived as a performer. I thought my value was tied to how many churches I planted, how many people I led to Christ, or how hard I worked. It took cancer and a global pandemic to finally break that mindset. I had to learn that I was Created for Love, Not Performance.
In the Garden of Eden, God didn’t give Adam a job description before He gave him a relationship. He blessed him first. He provided for him first. He walked with him first. The work came out of the love, not the other way around.
When I lie on that radiation table tomorrow, I won’t be thinking about my “stats” or my ministry legacy. I will be thinking about the fact that I am a son. Whether the scans in August are good or bad, my identity is settled in Christ.
“Rest doesn’t come after you fix yourself. Rest comes first.”
Handing Over the Reins
Even as I navigate these health challenges, my heart remains focused on the mission. Specifically, I am focused on the next generation of leaders. One of the greatest lessons a leader can learn is how to step back so others can step up.
In my work with Alignment Ministries, we are currently discussing what it looks like to trust national leaders with real responsibility. I just published a piece called Handing Over the Reins that explores how we build churches that outlast the missionary.
It is a scary thing to hand over the “business meetings” and the big decisions to others. It feels a bit like Jonah being spat out on the shore, new, uncertain, and requiring a fresh step of faith. But that is how growth happens. We move from being the center of the story to being a mentor who cheers others on. For those looking for more leadership insights, you can find my full Resource Library, which houses decades of ministry wisdom.
Resting in the Finished Work
As I finish this letter to you, I want you to know that I am at peace. Tomorrow is a milestone, and August will be another one. But my confidence isn’t in the medical scans. My confidence is in the One who saw me when I was yet “a great way off” and ran to meet me.
Jesus didn’t come to change God’s mind about you; He came to change your mind about God. He is the express image of the Father’s heart.
John 14:9 “...he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Shew us the Father?”
When you look at Jesus, you see a Father who touches lepers, forgives failures, and calls angry prophets out of their bitterness. You see a Father who is for you.
So, if you are in your own “belly of the fish” today, don’t focus on the dark walls or the waiting time. Look for the Father who is right there with you. He isn’t waiting for you to fix your life before He loves you. He is already there, holding you, preparing the shore for your arrival.
You can rest. You are not being graded. You are being held.
Audience of One,
Austin Gardner
Common Questions About Grace and Trials
How do I trust God when the “scans” of my life look bad?
Trusting God isn’t about ignoring the reality of the situation, but about anchoring your identity in something that cannot be shaken. Your circumstances may change, but God’s covenant love and His finished work on the cross remain the same regardless of the outcome.
Does God use suffering to punish us for running away like Jonah?
No, in the New Covenant, all punishment for sin was exhausted on Jesus at the cross. While we may face the natural consequences of our choices or the trials of a broken world, God uses those moments for our restoration and growth, never for our rejection or condemnation.
How can I move from performing for God to resting in Him?
Start by acknowledging that your behavior does not determine God’s love for you. Spend time meditating on the truth that you were created for relationship first, and let your obedience flow naturally from a place of being loved rather than from trying to earn approval.
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About the Author:
Austin Gardner is an international speaker, author, and mentor with over 50 years of ministry experience. He writes from a place of deep grace, sharing his journey of faith through Stage 4 cancer and a lifetime of missionary work.
Connect with Austin:
Listen to the Followed by Mercy Podcast
Subscribe on YouTube @waustingardner
Read more at waustingardner.com