The Coffee, Not the Cup
Choosing Gratitude Over Coveting
There was a man I once knew who had a simple rule for life. He used to say that whatever he had was “the best,” not because it always was, but because he’d made up his mind to appreciate what he had more than to long for what he didn’t. I never forgot that. It wasn’t about pretending he really believed it. He enjoyed his old car, his home-cooked meals, his everyday blessings, and would say, “This is the best because it’s mine, and I’m thankful for it.”
How different that is from the way most of us live. If we’re honest, it’s easy to fall into the old habit of looking at what everyone else has and wishing for more. We scroll through photos, listen to stories, peek over the fence, and before we know it, we’re wishing our own grass was just a little greener. The old Bible word for this is coveting, always hungry for more, never quite satisfied, constantly measuring what we have against what we don’t.
The problem with coveting isn’t just that it’s ungrateful. It blinds us. We often become so focused on what we lack or what we wish we could change that we miss the good things right in front of us. Too often, we don’t see the blessing until it’s gone.
I remember a story a pastor shared with me about a woman in his church. Her husband had his struggles on weekends; he drank too much, and their marriage was full of heartache. She complained to anyone who would listen. She criticized him and said she wished he were dead. She spent so much time resenting what she didn’t have that she never noticed what she did.
And then, one day, he was gone. Suddenly, the man who’d been there through thick and thin, who had paid the bills, who had put a roof over their heads and helped their daughter stay in Christian school, was no longer there. The pastor told me how she spoke at his funeral, her words full of love and gratitude, all the things she had never said while he could still hear them. But now it was too late.
It’s like the flowers we send to funerals, beautiful bouquets to express our love, but often silent while the person is still here to enjoy them. Gratitude that comes after loss is honest, but it carries a sting.
So, how do we break this pattern? How do we learn to treasure what we have before it slips through our fingers?
The Coffee and the Cup
There’s a story from a high school reunion that still makes me smile. A group of classmates—now doctors, lawyers, business owners—came back to visit their favorite teacher. They sat around, sharing stories of success and stress, discussing the pressure to keep up and always chase after more.
After a while, their teacher excused himself to make coffee. When he returned, he brought a large pot and a tray of cups, none of which matched. Some were fine china, some plain ceramic, and a few were chipped old mugs. Without thinking, each person reached for the nicest cup, leaving the simple ones behind.
The teacher watched, then said, “Did you notice what just happened? You all reached for the best cups. That’s normal, but that’s where your stress starts. The cup doesn’t make the coffee taste better. What you wanted was the coffee. But you focused on the cup.”
He smiled gently. “Life is the coffee. The job, the house, the status, those are just cups. They hold life, but they don’t define it. And if you focus on the cup, you miss the coffee.”
That’s the whole point. Happiness, peace, gratitude, none of it comes from having the fanciest “cup.” Happy people don’t always have the best of everything, but they learn to make the best of what they have.
Learning to Count Blessings
The answer isn’t complicated. It’s gratitude. It’s learning to count your blessings and name them one by one. It’s saying, “Thank You, Lord, for what I have before I ever ask for more.” Sometimes, to truly appreciate what we have, we must imagine how we’d feel if it were gone.
It’s taking the time to say “I love you” and “I appreciate you” to the people who matter while they can still hear it. It’s giving the flowers now, not waiting for the funeral. It’s looking around your life and, like that man I once knew, deciding, “What I have is the best not because it’s perfect, but because it’s mine, and I choose to be thankful.”
So today, let’s slow down, pour a cup of whatever we have, and savor the coffee. Don’t get lost chasing the cup. See the blessings right in front of you, and thank God for everyone.
The secret to a contented and joyful life is not in having more but in being grateful for what you already have.
If this article stirs something in your heart, take a moment right now. Call a loved one. Look around at your life. Count your blessings and name them one by one. You might be surprised at how rich you already are.
Listen to Today’s Episode of Followed by Mercy
When family lets you down, friends vanish, and you start to wonder if even God has left you behind, this truth remains: You are never, ever alone. David, who wrote this psalm, failed more ways than most of us can count. He wasn’t just a king; he was a man who blew it as a leader, a father, and even a follower of God. But right in the middle of all that, David doesn’t question God’s presence. He declares it: “Thou art with me.”