The Blueprint of Love
Exploring Biblical Principles for a Lasting Marriage
What does it take to have a wonderful marriage? What does the Bible say, and what have I experienced in over 51 years of wedded bliss? Here are a few ideas to meditate on.
Mutual submission, love, and respect
Men, husbands must love their wives like Christ loved the church when He gave Himself for her. Jesus died to show His love. God loves and proves it by giving. “For God so loved that He gave His only!” “God shows His love by sending Jesus to die for us while we yet sin!”
That is the picture we follow in marriage: love because that is who we are and what we do, and we let our feelings come based on our previous actions. Love is not lust, desire, or getting your needs met. Love is giving to meet those needs. It is dying to yourself, and it is realizing it is not at all about you.
In a marriage, both husband and wife are called to submit to one another, respecting each other’s needs and roles. Both partners value and consider each other as equals, forming the foundation of a strong and loving relationship based on mutual respect and submission.
Love in marriage is not about power or hierarchy, but about sacrificial service. It’s about sacrificing one’s own needs and desires for the benefit of the other, making them feel appreciated and cherished.
It is a love that makes the other better. Each contributes to the growth of the other.
It is an intimacy based on love, respect, and submission.
Serving One Another
A great marriage is based on serving each other. It is about mutually esteeming the other as better than yourself, and caring about their feelings and needs. This love is attentive, really listens, and works out whatever possible to be there for and meet the needs of their spouse. It means not using what you do to get what you want. ‘You know I do this, so you will do that’ doesn’t work in marriage. That is selfishness cloaked. It is doing to get, not to give.
Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve. The world system teaches us to use people. Get what you want and walk away. Be there as long as it is beneficial. Love for them has limits. That is not the serving love that the Bible teaches.
Wives respect and submit sacrificially
Husbands love and serve sacrificially
Both care for each other as one.
To love your spouse is to love yourself as a person loves their own body.
Unity
Two becoming one has been the challenge from the beginning. Life was never meant to be solitary. Living in community leads to the fullest life. People need people.
I do not know how God did it, but He placed a deep need in us for Him and then for a life partner. God designed us to have someone to share the burdens and blessings.
There is more than reproduction involved in marriage. It is someone you can trust enough to be yourself in their presence, to sleep in their presence. No guards up, no defenses, no pretending, just you accepted as you are in all your glory and “gory.” Betty hopes no one is really gory but I liked the play on words.
What a beautiful thing it is to be loved and accepted. That is exactly what we have in Christ Jesus. God loves us. He accepts us. He knows every fault and failure and welcomes us with wide-open arms. There are no requirements, expectations, or exertions. God knows you like you are and still loves you.
Then, He teaches us to love someone else the way He loves us. We call it marriage.
Imagine your testimony for Christ.
Have you considered that when we have a wonderful marriage, it flies in the face of the world’s system? The world can only imagine a selfish lifestyle. They can only see looking out for number one.
When people sacrificially give themselves to someone else, think of how that is the opposite of everything around you. We reflect Christ, the love of God, when we love our spouse.
There is very little love in the world and not near enough, even in the church. You are called to let Jesus live His life through you. He will lead a life of service, sacrifice, giving, forgiving, building, and healing.
As we lead good marriages and homes, the love in our homes screams to the world that there is something different. It is possible.
