I understand your hurt and the heaviness you carry, at least to a small degree. Being betrayed stings, old regrets sneak in and remind us of our failures, and all of this wears us down. You are not alone nor without hope.
God Isn't Going Anywhere
It is easy to think God left you because you messed up. It is easy to believe He keeps a record of our failures and shakes His head in disbelief as we mess up. That thinking will nearly kill you. But here's what I know: God doesn't pack up and leave. His love for you has nothing to do with how well you're doing. When everything else falls apart, this stays true: "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
I've lost people. I've lost my health. I've watched my reputation go up in smoke. When you're stripped down to nothing, it's easy to wonder if God cares. Sometimes you won't feel Him there. That doesn't mean He moved.
Stop Hiding the Hurt
You don't have to smile through it. God never asked you to pretend to be okay. Look at David, he told God straight up when he was falling apart. "I remembered God and was troubled." He didn't try to make it look good. But he also chose to think about what God had already done for him. That's not pretending everything's fine. That's deciding to look at the One who can do something about your mess.
Maybe you're still in the middle of the storm. You don't have to stuff it all down. Tell God exactly where you are. Let Him see the whole ugly truth.
Trust When Nothing Makes Sense
I can't tell you why bad things happen. Nobody can. But God says nothing gets wasted. Even the worst parts of your story matter to Him. There's plenty I still don't get, but I know this much: God doesn't change. He's working something good out of this, even when I can't see what that could be.
Do What's Right in Front of You
You don't need a massive spiritual overhaul. Just handle what's sitting right there.
Open your Bible. Read something. Hold onto it. If you can't pray, tell God that. You don't need perfect words. If all you've got is "Help," that works.
You may need to forgive someone today. Perhaps you need to stop letting shame dictate your actions; doing what God says in the small things counts.
Healing takes forever. Some days, you win just by getting out of bed and trusting God for the next 24 hours.
You're Not Doing This Alone
God loves you exactly as you are. He's not waiting for you to get your act together first. You don't have to clean up the mess before you let Him in. He wants to walk through it with you.
Your past is done. Your future is wide open with God. Talk to Him. Find someone safe to talk to. You don't have to carry this by yourself.
One Day
It's easy to think this is it, that nothing will change. But God's not finished with you. This pain you're in isn't the end of your story. Even when it's quiet, He's working. Better days are coming, not because you're strong enough to make them happen, but because God keeps His promises.
Get prayer if you need it. Find someone who'll listen. You haven't been forgotten. You're loved right now, right here. Your story isn't over.
Trust God today. Let Him use the complex parts, too. You never know, your healing might be exactly what someone else needs to see.