Rewriting My Life’s Story From "Why Me?" to "Behold, He Was With Me"
How Leaving Past Hurts in the Rearview Mirror Fueled My Journey with Christ
God is always working in my life. In the last few years, I have grown closer to Him and understood His love more than ever before. For too long, I held on to the religious belief that God didn’t love or like me. I thought God loved me according to what I did or didn’t do. I begged Him repeatedly to give me another chance, to come to me, to fill me without realizing that I was falling into a religious work-based salvation.
He already does everything I asked for by His incredible love, grace, and mercy.
Another lesson I am learning is not to allow myself to be anchored to past experiences. We love repeating the stories of our hurt. We treat old hurts like parking spaces and decide to remain there permanently.
So here is today’s lesson. Stop parking in the past. Stop telling yourself the story of your hurt over and over. Let go of what happened and get on with life.
Dwelling on our past hurts gives us some weird comfort. It is easier to focus on the past and blame someone than to move on and face the uncertainties of the future.
Our past becomes our excuses, our explanation for the way we are.
Somehow, we refuse to see how God worked through the problem, grew, and built us. We refuse to see that God still sent light even in the darkest moment. We could praise God for overcoming and surviving but prefer to play the victim.
We pay a tremendous price when we park in the past. We are so past-minded that we miss out on present living. This dwelling in the past hinders new relationships. We build walls and barriers and hunker down when we need to get up, go to God, cast all of our cares and anxieties on Him, leave them there, and move forward.
Hiding in the past to protect yourself from future pain is simply keeping the wound alive.
Our goal seems to be retelling the story to make what happened into something big. The actual wound only hurt for seconds or minutes. We could have gotten over it if we had quit rehearsing it, dwelling on it, retelling it, looking for people who will agree with us, and making what happened the anchor to our life instead of God and His blessings through it.
What happened happened—there’s no denying that. But lots has happened that we didn’t choose to make our life story. Why do we insist on making this hurt our identity?
How can you break free?
Acknowledge that it happened.
Learn from what happened.
Do not make the hurt your permanent address.
Change the narrative. Instead of being about your hurt, tell your healing story. Focus on how God was there, how you grew, and where you are going now.
Be present today where you are. Stop repeating the story of the past in your head and heart, and see what God has for you today.
The past is over—you can do nothing to change it. Life, like a river, flows only in one direction. So watch for new joy, fresh perspectives, and new possibilities.
Step out into the new challenges that life brings. Leave the painful past behind, and as Paul said, forget those things behind and reach forth unto those things which are before. Press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
You can go forward, and it only takes a small decision. I will no longer dwell on the past. I will stop telling that story in my mind and heart and to others. I will not ask why or even ask to change how I think; I will simply change what I think about.
The next time the past story comes up, focus on God and how He blessed and guided you through it. You are a child of God, not a victim of hurt or the past.
God used everything that has ever happened to make you who you are. You are stronger and have more experience. The junk from the past where you were parked was just a learning class, and you have learned the lesson, moved on to the next, and now teach others how to grow like you are going.
Quotes
"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." C.S. Lewis
"The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence." Roy T. Bennett
"You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one." Michael McMillan
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present." Bill Keane
"Don't let yesterday take up too much of today." Will Rogers
"God has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggle, and a reward for your faithfulness. Trust Him and don't give up." Unknown
"Sometimes God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves." Joni Eareckson Tada