Not Who I Was, Not Yet Who I Will Be

How God patiently shapes us into the image of His Son

I am not who I was. I have made mistakes. I have hurt people. I have carried wrong attitudes and the wrong spirit. That was not the whole truth about me, but it was real. It was part of my growing, part of stumbling forward.

And if I am honest, I am often embarrassed by it. I often think about things I said in sermons years ago that I wish I could take back. I replay failures and regret the way I handled moments. Sometimes old memories come back, and I cringe at the man I was.

If I had it to do over, I would have counseled differently. I would have preached differently. I would not have been so brash or quick with my words. I would have made fewer mistakes. I wish I could go back and be a better parent, not so harsh in discipline. I wish I could go back and be a better husband, a better son, a better friend. But I cannot. None of us can.

Here is the lesson I am learning. I cannot undo the past, but I can trust that God has been at work in me the whole time. It was never His will that I do the foolish things I now regret, but He has worked through even those failures to shape me into the man He wants me to be. Even when I was at my worst, He still loved me. Even then, He was carrying me forward.

That is the miracle of grace. God does not erase my story. He redeems it. He takes even the parts I wish had never happened and weaves them into His plan for my growth. My failures may have shaped my journey, but they never defined my identity. The deepest truth about me has always been what God says. I am His child. I am forgiven. I am secure in Christ. My sins never erased that. My shame never canceled that. I may have lost sight of it, but God never did.

This is what growth really means. It is not about trying harder to become someone else. It is about living more and more from who I already am in Him. Scripture says,

“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”

Growth happens in grace. Not in condemnation. Not in fear. But in the freedom of knowing I belong to Him. Paul described the destination:

“Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.”

But growth requires movement. I cannot stay stuck in regret. Paul wrote,

“Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Grace lets me leave yesterday in the past and stretch toward what God is doing right now.

I sometimes think of it the way one writer described it: when God begins His work in us, we imagine He is simply repairing the broken windows and fixing a few leaks. But then He starts knocking down walls, tearing out whole sections, and rebuilding the place from the ground up. It hurts. It makes no sense to us. We would have been content with a small cottage, but God is making a palace fit for His presence. That is what He is doing in me. That is what He is doing in you.

And it is not just true of me. It is true of everyone. Your parents are still growing. Your children are still growing. Your in-laws, your spouse, your friends, and your pastor are all in the process. None of us is finished.

That is why the Bible tells us,

“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”

If God sees me in Christ even when I stumble, then I must learn to see others the same way. And Jesus said,

“Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.”

Grace is not only what changes me, but it is also what allows me to walk patiently with others while God changes them.

So here is what I am learning. I am not who I was. Neither are you. And none of us is who we will be. By His grace, we are still growing. He has not wasted a single step of my journey, even the ones I regret. Slowly, surely, He is transforming me into the image of His dear Son. And the One who began this good work will not stop until it is finished.