How to be a friend
The term friend is sacred. A friend sticks closer than a brother. A friend lays down his life for his friends. Not much more special and intense than that.
The truth is that most of us will never have very many genuine friends. The emphasis of this article is not having friends but being a friend. It is not about what you get but what you give and how you commit. Very few things are more important than cultivating true friendships.
The goal is to be a friend, not have one. Try to be a friend to others. Consider giving in the way Jesus did. It is loving while expecting nothing in return. The thought that I will be your friend if you will be my friend is purely selfish. I will be your friend if I can get something out of you is about as low as you can get. That is called using people. Be a friend by loving. Let the love of God be shed abroad in your heart. Stop the thought of what is in it for me.
Since the goal is to be a friend, not have a friend, we must realize how costly this will be. If my friend is in trouble, I am going to be there. If my friend hurts my feelings, I am going to be there. If my friend doesn't think he needs me, I will be there. I see this friendship as abiding love, something not offered lightly.
Being a friend will mean sacrificing. It will mean living for others and not myself. General William Booth sent a telegram to the Salvation Army when he was on his deathbed. The telegram had one word. "Others!" That is serving and self-forgetful living.
True friendship is having compassion for another. My friend's needs are my needs. True friends suffer together, celebrate together, and feel each other's pain. Friendship is often as strong as or even stronger than family bonds.
Consider how David loved Jonathan. David said that the love he felt for Jonathan was greater than the love a man can have for a woman. In our society, you probably want to turn that into something dirty, but it was pure friendship and love.
Take advantage of the moments you get to be with your friends. Quality time strengthens the bonds of friendship. If you are going to be there then be all there. Pray for your friend and their needs. Think about them. Pay attention to them. Notice them.
David thought about Jonathan so much that he cared for Jonathan's family after Jonathan died. That is real friendship. This bond of friendship is a sacred, serious bond. We must sacrifice, commit, and think about being a true friend. Friendship is holy ground. It deserves the seriousness of true friendship.