Fragmented Selves: Beyond Labels. Who Are You?
The Dangers of Disposable Relationships in Pursuit of Authenticity
Who am I? Who do you think I am? How do I define myself? How do I decide how to feel about myself? We often ask these questions out loud or in our innermost being. We want to know our place in the world and understand ourselves. As believers, we must learn to define ourselves based on God’s opinion, not our own or people’s opinions.
When you introduce yourself, how do you identify yourself or see yourself? How do you answer the question, “Who am I? In the past, people might have answered that question in relation to values, beliefs, and inner experiences, but today, people too often base their answer on how they compare to others.”
Questions to Meditate on
What values drive your decisions?
Which experiences have shaped you most profoundly?
What activities make you feel most authentic?
Do you say what you do, your work, your career?
Do you define yourself by your financial position or condition?
Does your performance determine who you are?
Are you what you get from social feedback?
Do you define yourself by your appearance?
What role does your relationship with God play in shaping your identity?
What role does forgiveness play in your self-perception?
Competition and Comparison
The believer can live in security when he changes his view from what he does to who he is in Christ; what you do changes. You can fail. Your marriage can fail, and your relationship with your parents or children can sour, but when you find who you are in Christ, you will live in security.
Too often, we use our performance to shape our self-concept. I am excellent at my job! I am an accomplished musician. My ministry is larger than others. I have more followers, likes, and friends than most.
I am a part of this group; they love and accept me until they don’t.
I do not do that, and I do this. My morality makes me better than others.
Danger Zone
If you do not learn to define yourself biblically, you will find yourself treading a minefield. You are in deep danger. Consider the following dangers.
Fragile sense of who we are because of our desire for external validation.
We live in anxiety and insecurity, concerned about the opinions of others.
Our desire for approval and the comparison we live in causes us to lose connections with people or feelings for others.
We become critical and judgmental and get involved in gossip and slander to ensure and elevate our position
Our hunger for external validation will hinder our spiritual growth.
Living outside the Word of God and excessive concern for others’ opinions may justify unethical, nonbiblical behavior.
You may become unable to decide because of your fear of disapproval.
You cease to be you as you try to conform to others and their expectations.
You may become very self-centered because of your focus on personal validation.
You open yourself to manipulation and lose your purpose because you want the praise and fear the criticism.
Who Am I in Christ?
As a believer, you understand that your true identity is based on Biblical truth.
A new creature. All the old is gone, and all things are made new. Being a new creature is more than a new start. It is a new person. II Corinthians 5:17.
A child of God. Born into the family with all the rights and privileges of God’s child, His Son. We can approach boldly with confidence. We are deeply loved and entirely accepted.
God has declared us righteous. We are entirely justified. II Corinthians 5:21.
We are more than conquerors. We have victory, live from victory, and can overcome any challenge through Him who loves us. Romans 8:37.
We are ambassadors to this world on behalf of the Lord Jesus Christ. We carry the authority of Heaven and speak for Jesus, who lives His life through us. II Corinthians 5:20 Galatians 2:20.
We are the temple of the Holy Spirit. He lives in us. I Corinthians 6:19.
We are joint heirs with Christ, so all blessings and glory are ours. Romans 8:17.
We are complete in Christ. We have all we need to live for Christ and eternally. Colossians 2:10.
God seated us in heavenly places. We already have our position with Christ. Ephesians 2:6.
We are salt and light. Our presence makes a difference. We are God’s connection to a lost and dying world. Matthew 5:13-14.