Confronting the "Us-Them Mentality": A Biblical Perspective
Rejecting Pride and Embracing Compassion and Kindness
For years, I was raised and trained in an “Us-Them Mentality!” I didn’t even realize that I had developed the same attitude. You know, South against the North, white against black, rich against poor, the USA against Russia, liberals against conservatives, teachers against students, bosses against employees, and so on.
We do not realize that people are not “the group.” They are no longer individuals in our minds. Everyone becomes the enemy, or at least a potential enemy. I must be on guard. They are my rivals. We are not working together.
Amazingly, we are more forgiving and lenient towards people in our group unless they cross certain lines.
Remember, if they were a good guy, they would be in our group, not the other group.
What about illegal aliens or even foreigners? What about those who can not speak English well?
It causes us to live in defensive mode and feel threatened. We think they have hostile intentions without the necessary evidence.
We live seeking the approval of our group. What people from the other group think can’t be right. We celebrate our group and its achievements, downplay the other group, and cast blame.
How can we over this mentality?
Look for ways you are like people from the other group. Challenge and think carefully through your own biases. Focus on shared goals and common interests instead of the differences.
Recognize that people in every group are much more complex than the group they belong to. If you can learn to think in this fashion, you will be able to slowly accept people for who they are.
Let’s learn to talk, communicate, and listen to each other. Stop yelling and covering your ears. Listen, really listen.
Learn to feel what the others are feeling. Confess the attitude and get a Christlike attitude.
Think over what you say and do and what your group does, and ensure it is correct before continuing to follow.
How we exhibit the “us versus them” mentality
We decide based on our subconscious discrimination instead of trying to understand people.
We forgive those we love and those in our group and make excuses for them much more than those in the other group.
We blame others for our problems instead of seeing if we might bear some responsibility.
We assume the negative and refuse to work with those we perceive as outsiders or enemies.
We look for our group’s amen and approval, even if it is not a truth we have deeply explored to ensure we are right.
We make mistakes following the crowd, though it is our crowd that we will one day regret.
Anything anyone says that is negative is an attack. We strictly separate ourselves from other groups to avoid contamination.
Everything said and done is a potential attack.
Consider what the Bible has to say
We are to love our enemies, pray for those who mistreat us, and act like we belong to our heavenly Father. Matthew 5:44-45.
We must realize that God created all humans and treat them with dignity because they are God’s creation.
We are to be peacemakers. We are not to see different groups, but to see all as one. Galatians 3:28.
We are not to be proud because God hates us for having that feeling of superiority. Proverbs 16:5.
We are to show compassion and kindness to all Colossians 3:12
We are to emulate the Good Samaritan and love even those that are not in our group. Luke 10:25-37.
We are to love all and pray for their salvation. We are to keep the unity of the Spirit.
God is against our Us Them Mentality.
The “Us-Them Mentality” harms each of us.
It limits our growth.
Fosters a narrow mind.
Creates conflict and tension.
It causes us not to feel for others.
Blocks communication.
Creates a hostile environment.
Causes poor decisions.
Causes misunderstandings.
It causes a sense of isolation and disconnection.
Causes a negative self-image by the constant comparing.
Creates barrier.
Quotes
"We have more in common with each other than we have differences." William J. Clinton
"The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either – but right through every human heart." - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Martin Luther King Jr.
"Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future, and renders the present inaccessible." Maya Angelou
"We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided." J.K. Rowling
"We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us." Virginia Satir
Excellent and encouraging insight.